It’s been a month now, and I’m not in jail. You can hear the message by clicking on the video link above (really, it’s worth a listen), or I can tell you what it said:
Attention! This call is from the legal department of the Social Security Administration. Your Social Security number has been suspended, and we have filed a case under your name. So, before this matter goes to federal claims courthouse for you to get arrested, kindly press 1, because FBI also involved in your case. So, I repeat, press 1 to know about your legal case.
I did not press 1, but I find myself checking the rearview mirror for unmarked Crown Victorias following too closely or men in black with earpieces and talking into their wrists. Maybe the federal claims courthouse has a backlog of cases or is processing the cases of those who pressed 1. In any event, I remain a free person.
The call came from the Solomon Islands, phone number 677-75. Maybe I should have wondered why the legal department of the Social Security Administration calls from the Solomon Islands. I Googled “federal claims courthouse,” and the closest I could find is the United States Court of Federal Claims in Washington, D.C., but there is nothing on their website about suspended Social Security numbers.
I don’t want to let my guard down, but the call may have been spam. I might not have avoided jail by pressing 1. Continue reading

There’s a good chance that no matter which presidential candidate garners the most votes, popular or electoral, on November 3, the nays will have it. 

