The old adage reminds us “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” But what if they don’t want to hear something nice?
I’m still thinking about a request I received recently from an organization for a personal reference for someone seeking to serve in its work. The request named the individual and the nature of the work they might do, and then said, “If you, as a church leader, have any concerns about the individual listed above, …please respond to this email and share those concerns. If the individual is an active participant in your church and you would, indeed, recommend them…, there is no need to respond.”
Serving as a personal or professional reference, completing recommendation forms, or verifying application details go with the territory. They are some of the things a pastor just does. And typically, happily so. My guess is that I have offered references, recommendations, and verifications hundreds of times over the years. From candidates for ministry or mission positions, to scholarship applicants, to, recently, someone wanting to be a prison guard, I have been honored to be asked to offer a word or two about friends, parishioners, and proteges.
Most of the time when I have been asked to provide a recommendation for someone, it has been a happy task. I have good things to say – sometimes so good as to advise the asking organization not to pass on the opportunity the applicant represents. But I also take seriously the challenges/weaknesses section most reference forms have. I try to offer honest and candid assessments. Occasionally sitting on the other side of the table, I have found no weaknesses, walks-on-water/turns-water-into-wine recommendations to be mostly useless. Continue reading




