This is not a plea for messages of consolation, nor does anyone need to feel sorry for my loss. But there was sadness in the news that my friend had died.
I call him my friend and am glad to do so, for our friendship was hard-won. My friend and I served the same congregation, I as pastor and he as part of the staff I inherited when I was called to the church. We did not agree theologically or about the hot-button issues of those days. Our conversations were sometimes heated and sometimes very personal. Partisans in the congregation sought to make the most of our disagreement and did their best to divide the congregation over it. But we defied their schemes and became friends instead, our disagreements mostly intact.
It’s not that I think the issues between us were not important; they were hugely important: the nature of the gospel and faithful living. What I believed then I believe now, and perhaps with a heightened sense of the importance of it. My job, though, was not to change my friend. Rather I was to follow Peter’s admonition in 1 Peter 3:15, “in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect…”
It had been 25 years since I had seen my friend face to face, and there had been only a handful of emails or text messages in the interim. But I thought of him if not often then with thanks for our friendship. Continue reading