It is photo directory time at our church. Most church-goers know the drill. Every member or family or regular attender is asked to sign up to have their photo taken by a professional photographer.  Around December each of us will receive a copy of the church’s photo directory with the portraits, names, phone numbers, and street addresses of all of those who participated. In the meantime, the directory company will try to sell us multiple copies of our portraits to give to family members and loved ones as Christmas presents. It’s designed as a win-win. The church members get photo directories, and the company makes money off the portraits it sells.

For all the hassle the process tends to be, I am all in favor of church photo directories.

“Who is that person who always sits on the left side towards the back?”

Right now our church is at the point of trying to get as many of us as possible to sign up to have our photos taken. Becky and I have made our appointment.

As part of the campaign to persuade us to participate, we’ve seen a promotional video during our pre-worship announcement time. Good-looking families and individuals of every age, gender, and ethnicity are shown smiling for the camera and looking good in the finished directory.

At one point in the promotional video, the narrator says, “If you only attend a few times a year, you are part of our church family.”  I wanted to stand up and yell, “Lie!” I did not.

The directory company offers incentives for the church to get lots of photos taken. Additional activity pages. Extra copies of the finished directory to give to new members. The more the better.

I have no problem with those who only attend a few times a year having their photos included in our new directory. Maybe I’ll learn some new names. But you can’t be a part of a family – a church family or any other family – if you don’t show up.

The infrequent attenders at our church miss the regular preaching of the word that nurtures our souls. They have not joined in prayer or singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. They have not been at the communion table when we have shared the means of grace or in the pew as we celebrated a baptism or confirmation. They did not notice when a faithful member was no longer in his or her regular seat or know to offer a word of comfort to a grieving spouse. They have not been around to volunteer to fill a ministry need or participate in a service project.

The idea that even if you only attend a few times a year, you are still a member of the church family is a happy thought, but a lie (of course, I am not talking about shut-ins and those with Sunday morning jobs).

26 years ago Robert Putnam famously wrote about the problem associated with Bowling Alone. In 2023, the Surgeon General declared a “loneliness epidemic.” A recent report from Harvard says, “the problem has been made worse by increased social change toward individualism, fostered by the development of smartphones and social media.”

We need each other, and “each other” can’t happen a few times a year. Paul reminds the Corinthians that the eye cannot tell the hand “I have no need of you.” “So it is with Christ,” he writes. We need one another.

The thought that even if you only attend a few times a year, you are a part of our church family is a happy thought. But it is a lie. Maybe I should stand up and say something if they show the promotional video again this week. I probably won’t.