If all goes according to plans, Becky and I leave for a long-anticipated trip to Brazil seven weeks from today. We’ll see some sights and we will see some friends! In preparation for good conversations with our friends, we are brushing up on our Brazilian Portuguese using an online course we really like. Professora Virginia is a Brazilian who has lived in New York City for a dozen years. She knows both American and Brazilian cultures and is a gifted teacher.
The other day I was working through a lesson Virginia titled “Don’t Be Rude! How to be polite in Brazilian Portuguese.” The main takeaway is to avoid stand-alone imperatives, “Help me with this.” And instead to use the “futuro do pretérito,” or conditional verb tense, along with a “por favor.” “Would you help me with this, please?” Yes, it’s always a good idea to be polite, especially if you are a stranger in a strange land.
The Portuguese word commonly used for polite is “educado.” In the past perfect verb tense “educado” means educated, but in the typical dictionary definition and in conversational use, it means “polite.”
At that point in the lesson, Virginia left verb conjugation for a bit of social commentary. From her translation:
. . . Did you notice that the word “educado” in Portuguese is not necessarily related to formal or academic education? The word “educado” is commonly used to refer to someone who is polite, has good manners, and treats other people with respect; in other words, someone who was well-raised at home.
A person may have a high level of academic education, like a master’s or a doctorate, and still be considered “mal-educado” (rude) because they don’t treat others with good manners, with politeness. I find it interesting that, in Brazil, education is something you learn from your parents, not in universities.
To be polite, “educado,” is to be well-raised at home.
When I am not studying Brazilian Portuguese (which is most of the time), I enjoy reading political and especially social commentary by writers I respect. This past week, A Financial Times columnist, John Burn-Murdoch, reported on a new study showing a concerning decline in conscientiousness among younger people. I don’t subscribe to the Financial Times, but a couple of other columnists picked up on Burn-Murdoch’s report (here and here), and Burn-Murdoch added an X thread on his column.
The study on which Burn-Murdock bases his column uses data from a continuing generational survey of what psychologists call the “Big Five” personality traits:
- Openness to experience (includes aspects such as intellectual curiosity and creative imagination)
- Conscientiousness (organization, productiveness, responsibility)
- Extroversion (sociability, assertiveness)
- Agreeableness (compassion, respectfulness, trust in others)
- Neuroticism (tendencies toward anxiety and depression)
(Notice that none of the “Big Five” are mentioned among the Fruit of the Spirit or the classic Christian virtues.)
Burn-Murdoch focuses on what Aaron Renn calls “Collapsing Conscientiousness.” He offers a couple of graphs to illustrate the point:
In the X thread Burn Murdoch says, “[Of all personality types], highly conscientious people (dependable, disciplined, committed) fare best of all. They live the longest, succeed at work, their relationships last. This makes sense. Life isn’t just about knowing what you should do or having the resources to do it, it’s about following through. Conscientiousness is especially critical in the modern world. Life today is full of temptations. From hyper-engaging digital media to online gambling, the ability to ignore it all and put long-term wellbeing ahead of short-term kicks becomes a superpower.”
Before I add an observation, let me say that I do not like intergenerational bickering. We’ve spent a decade and a half complaining about the Millennials, and now we’re having at Generation Z. This is about as helpful as my generation cautioning against trusting anyone over 30. Plus, it is nothing new. You’ve probably heard Socrates’ famous thoughts on Athenian youth in the Fourth Century, B.C. – “The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”
A decline in conscientiousness – or openness or agreeableness or politeness – is not one generation’s problem. It is our problem. And if Virginia, our professora brasileira, is correct, perhaps we need to look no further than our homes and wonder if our children and grandchildren are being well raised. Note that “well raised,” or “trained up” (as in Proverbs 22:6 quoted below), means more than simply instructed. As Ugandan writer Eleanor Kwizera Nasasira says, “By continuing to model Christ to (their children)—with humility, love, forgiveness, and faith—(parents) can become a living testimony to the gospel.”
Our children may be educated, but are they educado?
Solomon is traditionally credited with writing the Proverbs 500 years before Socrates complained about the Athenian young people of his time. Perhaps Solomon knew the answer to the problem Socrates observed: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)