I learned long ago that it is best if I call a plumber when the faucet is dripping or an electrician when the lights are flickering. My attempts at do-it-yourself fixits have not typically ended well. Ask Becky about the last time I changed the oil and filter on our car. Hint: it was 1985. So, yes, thank goodness for Jiffy Lube.

When you are mechanically challenged, as I am, it is best to put the wrench down slowly, turn around, pick up the phone, and call someone who knows what they are doing.

I have been thinking about fixits and calling the experts as several situations are unfolding in areas of my life where I may have some responsibility. There are several, and the details don’t matter, other than to say these are situations where wires may be sparking, trust is slowly dripping away, and the check engine light has begun to flash.

I am tempted to pick up my wrench and try to fix what needs to be fixed.

In fact, each of these several situations is the kind of situation where I may have some experience. In each case someone has called and asked for my thoughts if not my advice. Like a moth irresistibly drawn to the flame, the allure of problem solving is hard for me to resist. But each of these situations is a human situation, and the problems they represent are not to be solved by using just the right wrench or the correct screwdriver. My experience and the tools in my toolbox may not be suited to the solutions these situations demand.

As we “experts” who are attending to these situations have consulted with one another, some who I respect greatly have concluded we might best stand back and let things play out as they will, perhaps not for the good.

“I think I have a socket wrench that might work,” I say to myself, knowing there is no socket wrench capable of loosening that rusted bolt. Besides, if there were such a socket wrench, I would not know how to use it.

“Let go and let God,” some will say. “God helps those who help themselves,” Poor Richard advises. But God’s sovereignty and human responsibility cannot be reduced to pithy sayings or clever memes.

The complicated situations with which I am involved may not submit to easy or even difficult solutions. Should they remain unresolved, sparks will continue to fly and someone may get hurt. Trust will leak away until there is no more. The unchecked engine will sputter to a halt in a dry and weary land.

I am no good at plumbing, things electric, or auto mechanics. Thank goodness for Jiffy Lube.

I have some experience, even skill, at helping resolve difficult human and organizational problems. I believe God helps those who are willing to pick up the tools he has given them, and, as he guides the use of those tools, help themselves. Sometimes it is best to let go and let God. He often surprises us with solutions we never imagined. And sometimes in this “already and not yet” world, people are hurt, trust is lost, and once healthy organizations, even churches, sputter to an ignoble halt.

We are called to pray without ceasing.

If all goes according to plans, Becky and I leave for a long-anticipated trip to Brazil seven weeks from today. We’ll see some sights and we will see some friends! In preparation for good conversations with our friends, we are brushing up on our Brazilian Portuguese using an online course we really like. Professora Virginia is a Brazilian who has lived in New York City for a dozen years. She knows both American and Brazilian cultures and is a gifted teacher.

The other day I was working through a lesson Virginia titled “Don’t Be Rude! How to be polite in Brazilian Portuguese.”  The main takeaway is to avoid stand-alone imperatives, “Help me with this.” And instead to use the “futuro do pretérito,” or conditional verb tense, along with a “por favor.” “Would you help me with this, please?”  Yes, it’s always a good idea to be polite, especially if you are a stranger in a strange land. Continue reading →

Some of you may be familiar with Dunbar’s Number and the ideas it represents. Though there is hardly consensus that British anthropologist Robin Dunbar has the thing right, there is an intuitive sense that his broad strokes paint a picture of a reality we recognize. Dunbar’s number (150) suggests there are certain human capacities that limit the number of people in a series of relational circles, 150 being the most “meaningful” contacts any one of us might have. According to Dunbar, “the tightest (relational) circle has just five people – loved ones. That’s followed by successive layers of 15 (good friends), 50 (friends), 150 (meaningful contacts), 500 (acquaintances) and 1500 (people you can recognise). People migrate in and out of these layers, but the idea is that space has to be carved out for any new entrants.”

I have been thinking about Dunbar’s number on my slow morning runs through our neighborhood. The run itself has been especially delightful in recent days as the weather has cooled and the sun arrives just a bit later each morning, sometimes coloring the clouds in yellow, orange, and pink. Continue reading →

Becky and I are just back from two weeks helping our son and his family move from western Missouri where he was stationed as an Air Force chaplain to his new assignment east of Pensacola, Florida.  We spent the first week in Missouri preparing for the move and the second week on the move and the first days of settling into a new house. For Becky and me, 2700 miles, nine states and six different hotels. The trip from Missouri to Florida was less ambitious as we crossed southern Missouri, Arkansas, a corner of Tennessee, across Mississippi, another corner of Alabama, and into Florida. 900 miles in three and a half days. Four drivers, four vehicles, and six children, ages 4 to 14. My passengers were 10-year-old Gideon and almost-6-year-old Micah. They were great travelers.

When you are almost 6 years old or already 10 – or if you’re 4 or 14 years old – 300 miles or more can make for a long day. But each travel day held the promise of a hotel pool waiting at journey’s end for those tired pilgrims. We did not hold out the pool as a reward or in any way threaten to forbid its use as a consequence of some bad behavior. Neither reward nor punishment, just the reality of what was at the end of the day, though I did find myself encouraging the almost-6-year-old, especially, by measuring the remainder of the afternoon’s drive in terms of hours or minutes to the hotel pool. Continue reading →

Proverbs 17:6

    Grandchildren are the crown of the aged.

If all goes well, Becky and I will be in Missouri as you read this. In Missouri on the way to Florida.  We are helpiing our son and daughter-in-law as they move their family from one Air Force base to the next. Our job will be to distract the kids as the parents do the literal and figurative heavy lifting.  We plan to be back home at the end of the month, and you’ll hear from me then.